We really love music here.  My husband and I met in algebra class, but we became good friends in band.  We were both in choirs and music groups throughout childhood, and in band through high school and college.  We listen to music at the house all the time.  I know music means different things to different people, but it is really important to me – like a soundtrack to my life.  Some songs take me back to certain times in my life so strongly that it’s like I’m there again.

Probably most of you reading have heard the song, Oceans, by Hillsong United.  I’ll admit that I didn’t like it that much when it first came out, and then it was seriously overplayed on the radio, so that didn’t help me like it.  Right now, though, every time I hear it, I get goosebumps and start to tear up.  It is such a perfect song for where we are right now.

After waiting and dossier building and feeling like we were making no progress, now our adoption is moving so fast we’re dizzy.  We know this is a good thing – our girl needs a mommy, daddy, home, and medical treatment ASAP.  But, it’s a little overwhelming.  The task before us is so big – like an ocean.  There is absolutely no way that we can manage it on our own.  There is no way we can raise the money, no way we can figure out the practical details, no way we can be prepared for our girl the way that we need to be.  It’s not unlikely.  it’s impossible.

You know what else is impossible?
Walking on water.

Here are the lyrics, in case you aren’t familiar with them:

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you’re my God!

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

encouragement play list

I’m struggling with discouragement more right now than I have in a long time.  I’m so thankful for a group of like-minded friends who I can be real with and who will pray with me and for me through it.  Several of those sweet friends are also struggling with discouragement right now for various reasons.  The other day we brainstormed some songs for a playlist to encourage us, try to turn our attitudes in a more positive direction, and just remind us that we aren’t alone.

Here’s what we came up with:
Word of God Speak (Mercy Me)
Worn (Tenth Avenue North)
Never Gone (Colton Dixon)
Revelation Son (Phillips, Craig, & Dean)
Never Once (Matt Redman)
Need You Now (Plumb)
Love Restores (Shine Bright Baby)
There Will Be A Day (Jeremy Camp)
Revelation (Third Day)
Broken Hallelujah (The Afters)
Praise You In This Storm (Casting Crowns)
Whom Shall I Fear (Chris Tomlin)
What Do I Know of Holy (Addison Road)
Great I Am (New Life Worship)
Just Say Jesus (7eventh Time Down)
How He Loves (David Crowder Band)
For All The Saints (Indelible Grace Music)
Take My Life (Third Day)
Lord, I Need You (Matt Maher)

What would you add?

music, 2013

Our sweet, funny, surprisingly profound friend, David, recently quipped that, “when listening to music, there are only two types of people – those that let it touch them and those that simply know it’s playing!”

We are definitely music people.  We’ve both been enrolled in music classes of various types from very early childhood through our college graduations.  When I hear some songs, I transport back to an important event or time in my life and can be immediately moved to tears and/or laughter.  I can listen to the same song over and over for hours or even days, (which used to make my longsuffering mother crazy,) and not get tired of it.

Today, in church, the music was so powerful and just perfect for whatever it is that is happening with me right now.  Several times I found myself choking back tears and wanting to raise my hands (which I really never do and probably need to pray about).

My husband is out of town, and when I got home, I sent him this email to tell him about it:

We sang “Forever Reign,” at the beginning, and the line, “You are Peace, You are Peace, when my fear is crippling,” got me.  Then the chorus of that song is, “I’m running to your arms, I’m running to your arms.  The riches of your love will always be enough.  Nothing compares to your embrace.  Light of the world, forever reign.”
Then it transitioned into How Great is Our God, which is always one of my favorite praise songs.
Then it transitioned to How Great Thou Art, which made me really emotional because I’ve been singing that to [our daughter] every night for a couple of weeks, and it has been really meaningful to me as I’ve been singing it to her.  
The song during response time and at the end was Who Can Satisfy/There is a Fountain, and the chorus is:
There is a Fountain, Who is the King
Victorious Warrior and Lord of Everything
My Rock, My Shelter, My Very Own
Blessed Redeemer, Who Reigns Upon The Throne
I’m just feeling so strongly right now that God is so much bigger than our hesitations and our concerns about finances and our bad decisions in the past (like my student loans,etc), and negativity from people.  He is not the sweet little warm fuzzy Jesus that we light to think about – he is a VICTORIOUS WARRIOR!  He will win this battle and defeat Satan!  And he wants us to get up off our butts and help him.  And I’m so excited that I get to join in!  I’m so eager to do what he wants us to do!  I’m so ready to say BRING IT!  Which is scary, because I was reading somewhere that making these kinds of drastic steps, like adoption, is DECLARING WAR ON SATAN and he will not like that and will fight you.  But God is bigger.  He will bless our efforts.  And there really isn’t anything he can do to us, because God wins!  I have no doubt that Satan will attack our marriage.  But I believe that if we cling to each other and to Jesus that he will fail.   We will not be a statistic.  We will be a light in this dark world.
I’m just so eager to see where God is going to take my family in 2013.  God is on the throne.  I’ve read the end, and He wins.  But we do live in a dark, scary world – a world where children live in trash dumps and where men shoot entire classrooms full of first graders.  We simply don’t have time to mess around worrying about what people think or whether or not we have enough cute outfits for our kids or whatever other silly thing.  It’s time to get busy.